1halffull's Blog

What is it about Thursday?
February 12, 2010, 6:20 am
Filed under: Happiness, Humor, Jobs, Life, Work

If it’s Thursday night, it must be Friday morning!

Make sense to you?  If it does, then you must be suffering the same ‘malady’ as am I!

About a month ago, Thursday dawned in a happy manner – with the realization that tomorrow was Friday which would be followed by Saturday, a day without formal, outside-the-house work.  So I went to work that Thursday with a spring in my step and a hum in my mind, happy to be in the midst of Thursday.

When I got home from Thursday, it was like I’d been shot with the glitter of a rainbow.  I made ‘real’ dinner – as opposed to those fake ones made up of either left overs or stuff from cans – breezed through the evening to my favorite show at 10 – Burn Notice – then found that I didn’t even want to go to bed yet.  So I fooled around on the computer, watched more TV, goofed off in the bathroom then landed on the couch to lull myself to sleep with TVLand’s favorite show:  Roseanne.

When the buzzer went off signaling Friday morning, I was glad to greet it!  It was FRIDAY! which could only mean that tomorrow was Saturday, the day I didn’t have to go to work.  What a great day!  What fun I’d had….for once.

Unfortunately, Friday night found me snoring on the couch by 9:30.  I didn’t care!  It was worth the price to have had Wonderful Thursday!

Then there was lovely Saturday and Perfect Sunday followed by, you guessed it, Ugly Monday.  Mondays are often difficult where I work.  You walk in and rather than take off your coat and have a few minutes to settle in, you’re hit with who didn’t show up, what has to be picked up, whose project needs to be started up – you know, the usual first day of the work week stuff.  Suddenly you find yourself thinking about the other end of the week and wondering when it’s coming?

Next it was Tuesday, then Wednesday.  Before I knew what was going on, it was Thursday.  ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY.  Ahhhhhh…….

Again, I woke up so happy to be at the beginning of Thursday.  What a wonderful day.

Just like the week before, the day breezed by.  There was another real meal, some friendly competition on the Wii, some computer time, the 10 p.m. TV show.  Then there was no sleep!  Who needs sleep?  It’s Thursday after all, that lovely day that precedes Friday – again.

What makes it seem even more wonderful is that I’ve been giving in to my body clock on these Thursday night romps.  You see, while some people’s bodies are programmed to arise from their beds by 6 a.m., mine is not programmed that way.  When others want to chat their way from the edge of night to the bright of day, I want to snuggle under the covers sleeping until I might naturally awake about 10 a.m.  When some are crawling into bed at 10 p.m., I would adore staying up every night until 2 a.m.  My body lives for those days.

So, that’s what’s been taking place on Thursdays.  It’s such a luxury, dare I say even a thrill to indulge myself in staying up on lovely Thursday, anticipating Wonderful Friday.  My body feels happier and so do I!

So, what about Thursday?  It’s just the very happy day before Wonderful Friday, the best day of the week!


Everybody Poops
October 18, 2009, 12:47 am
Filed under: Bragging, Everybody Poops, God, Humor, Life, Love, Parents, Racism, Sadness, Storms, Unions, Work

billnyeThe book, ‘Everybody Poops’, was written by Bill Nye, The Science Guy.  Remember him?  He was a hit with kids back in the late 80’s and early 90’s I think.  The first time we saw the book, we giggled like school kids.  I mean, after all, it mentioned the word poop and that word makes everyone giggle at some point or another.  Well, unless you’re a person whose job is to clean it up.  Then, I suppose, you probably don’t giggle much about it.

Anyway, we were talking today about people who think that for one reason or another, they’re at least a half head better than everyone else.  We all know them.  We work with alot of them.  They make it their business to make sure we know how important they are, even when they aren’t.  We watch alot of them on TV or in movies or on sports fields.  Then we watch them get all haughty because someone wants to take their picture or asks for an autograph and they don’t think they should have to participate.  Hey, bucko, you’re the one who wanted to get all famous, and I helped you get there, so suck it up and sign the autograph.

Which brings me to – Everybody Poops.  I started thinking about how we all want to point out the differences among us and Poopshow some of us even want to get all haughty about these differences.  Whether we should or not is another question.  

Just in case you ever get the idea you’ve got something to get all haughty over, I thought I’d give you a list of some of the things we do pretty much the same.  Here goes….

We all have skin covering our muscles, unless yours has been burned off in a fire.

We all have hair covering our bodies, unless you have alopecia.

We all have eyes to see, unless you’re an alien from another galaxy, then you might not.  Or if your haughtiness has blinded you.

We all have hands and feet and, generally speaking, ten fingers and ten toes, unless you were in a very bad accident or born without them.

We all have navals, I believe, without exception.  There is a difference in navals, as some people have innies and some have outties.  Even so, I see no reason to get haughty over it.

We all have ears, although some of us use them less than others.

We all have mouths, although some of us use them more than others and should think about that.

We all have butts, some flat, some round, some with kind of a table top effect, some sagging.  Maybe you can get all haughty over your booty if you want.  I wouldn’t lord it over others, cause the booty can change at any moment.

We all put our pants on one leg at a time, unless, again, you’ve been in a terrible accident, lost your legs to diabetes, or were born without them.  If you’ve got ’em, be thankful for them and keep on walking.

We all have brains, although with some people, you just can’t tell.

We all breathe the same air, but some of our bodies respond badly to it while others consume it regularly.

heartWe all have hearts that pump the blood that we all have, carrying the oxygen that we just breathed to all of the organs that we all also have.  Here there is a difference:  some hearts beat with love while others beat against love.  Again no reason to get haughty – those beating with love should strive to help those beating against love.

 We all came from the collision of a sperm with an egg and were ‘baked’ in a warm uterus until it was time for us to pop out.

We all have birth mothers; we don’t all have moms.  Those who have moms should share with those who only have birth mothers.

We all have access to God.  We don’t all choose to access Him.

We all have the capacity to love one another.  When we use that capacity wisely, without mixing love with power or control, we just might forget the reason we thought we could get all haughty and enjoy and benefit from the gifts we each can share.

If all else fails just remember:  everybody poops.  Sometimes, that’s a very stinky business, so try not to poop on anyone else.

Racism or Just Bad Choices?

Ladies and gentlemen.

I have experienced a dearth of ideas, meaning I just haven’t had an idea for days.  Until today when the world has seemingly gone mad all at once (again)!  Now I have about a half dozen ideas.

So, starting at the top – pun intended.

tv_JimmyCarter_1dec06_0The criticism of President Obama and Jimmy Carter’s assessment.

First of all, I don’t believe, as Jimmy Carter is saying, that people are necessarily criticizing President Obama as a person, as a partial African American, nor as a man.  Nope, I’m pretty sure they are not.

Many, if they are criticizing him, are taking cracks at him because of his infinitely unwise decisions.

Remember back in the campaign days when Mr. Obama assured us – as have so many before him – that he would hold down the spending and especially the pork barrel spending?  Yet in the middle of the campaign, both he and John McCain ran back to D.C. to vote for the first $700 billion bailout.  This turned out to be an $850 billion bailout that included numerous pork barrel items and one of the first instances where words didn’t 071028_mccainmatch actions for either Mr. Obama or Mr. McCain.

Our displeasure in these people had nothing to do with either man’s race.  Their actions, however, should have caused a lightning bolt action running through our psyches telling us we shouldn’t vote for either man, black, white or otherwise.

Then there was the auto maker’s bail out.  I was really against this one but Mr. Obama championed the cause and the senators and congressmen yet again, did not heed our tortured, crictical screams.  Next thing you know the American taxpayers became the not-so-proud owners of the Government Motors Company.  Our displeasure had nothing to do with Mr. Obama’s race – only with his stupid response to a ridiculous situation that would have been better off left alone.

Barack_Obama_01_by_StudioFoveaA small aside here:  General Motors handed their bail out money to the Chinese government in order to extend their factories and auto production in China.  I’m not sure why they didn’t ask China for the bailout?  Oh, wait, yes I am.  The Chinese government wouldn’t have given them one red cent.  They’re not that gullible.

So now Mr. Obama is promoting a healthcare plan that will cost the American public $835 billion – so far.  The plan is so unwieldy that I’m pretty sure no one, not even the lady who had to type it all up, knows what it says.  The one thing that has been noted is that families who don’t subscribe to some form of health insurance will be fined $3,800.  Maybe that’s how Congress plans to raise the $835 billion?

Stick with me here while I do the math on all this.  $850 billion + $35 billion + $835 Billion = 1.720 TRILLION dollars of non existent taxpayer dollars earmarked for spending in less than a year by our first, partially African American president.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not on this rant because Mr. Obama is partially African American.  I’m on this rant because I do have a brain and I am living and breathing in America.  I’m ranting because I do resent someone who would give my hard earned money to crooks and thieves who have either stolen from the accounts of or raped the American people by stealing their jobs and giving them to the Mexicans and Chinese in order to make greater profits.

I am ranting because it is unbelievable to me that anyone would look at what has taken place in the last year and still have the gall to say people are picking on Mr. Obama because he’s our first partial African American president!

Have you lost your minds?  Do you seriously think the caucasians would be sitting around saying ‘gee, we’re so glad the white guy in office dumped us into the cesspool of a 1.720 trillion dollar debt’ if John McCain had gotten into office and committed these financial atrocities?   If you do, then it’s time for more than a change in American government; it’s time for a change in its people.                                    

9/16/09 – 11:25 p.m.

The turtle eventually wins?
August 13, 2009, 4:50 am
Filed under: Life, Turtles, Work

I read once that you’re only as happy as your saddest child.  As a  mom, I think that’s pretty true.

If she was alive, I wonder how happy Bernie Madoff’s mom would be?  Here’s a guy who knowingly bilked a few hundred people out of their life’s savings, bought himself a whole bunch of ‘stuff’, tried to protect his wife so she wouldn’t lose all their stuff and will probably get out of jail at some point to go back to his stuff and start a fresh life.

Maybe his mom would be happy.  After all, everyone makes mistakes.  Theoretically, Bernie will have done the time for his.  So his mom can be proud of that?

Since that’s the way it seems to happen more often than not for people at the top of the food chain, why don’t the same rules apply at the bottom?

I know someone right now who went through a very rough time.  In the process the person pretty much lost financial well being, lost logic, lost self.  This person has struggled to regain life, logic, employment, self.  At every turn, the big bad wolf has been waiting to bite once more.  First unemployment hit, then a minimum wage job.  Then a good job came along followed by major surgery followed by being let go by the good job.  Several minute jobs later, some paper routes, some doing whatever it takes to try to keep a roof over the head and finally another good job offer.  Hooray!

Don’t Hooray so fast.  The big bad wolf lurks.  At the last minute, as the moving truck was on its way to the door, there was a notice that said, ‘oh, sorry.  We’ve changed our minds because we don’t like your fiscal past.’

Back to square one.

In the spirit of things, diligence remains and another job comes along with bizarre hours, even more bizarre people to care for and now there are bruises, both physically and emotionally.  As though there hasn’t been enough.

I need to have the question answered:  Why do some people go merrily along through life while others face one mountain after another with very little respite in between?

While some people skip through life, do their time and come out on the other side, filling their pockets yet again with riches as though all has been forgotten, the pasts of others, who didn’t hurt anyone but themselves, seem to follow them all the days of their lives.  They never get a break, even after they’ve turned things around.

The amazing thing is the fact that these people still manage to pick themselves up after each fall, determined to try again, make a go of it.  Shouldn’t credit be given for that stamina and stick-to-itiveness?

In my book it should and it does.

All that I can hope for is that, like the turtle in the race with the rabbit, the diligence and stamina will pay off in the long run.

Let’s Call It A Day
July 28, 2009, 1:21 am
Filed under: Humor, Jobs, Magician, Work

There are some days that you are absolutely doomed to be the loser in no matter how hard you try.  What’s that old saying?  Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the fire hydrant.

For example, if you wake up four hours before you really should be waking up, and then you can’t go back to sleep, you should be smart enough to recognize that it probably won’t get better from here, especially if it’s a Monday.

I prefer to wake up about 6:45, take my shower, put my lunch together then head out the door about 7:30.  This puts me at work by about 7:55 where I hopefully go to my office with the intent of sitting down, booting up my computer and reading my email.

Mornings that I wake up at 4:30, that’s not what happens.  On these mornings, I land at work about 7:10 – why not?  I have nothing better to do, including sleeping -, open my office, notice my phone is blinking with unanswered messages and proceed to lock myself out as I fly down one hall after the other putting out fires.  Suddenly 11 o’clock comes along and I’m finally getting my first cup of coffee and landing in my chair for the first time of the morning.  From there it’s all down the slippery slope over lunch and on to playing musical employees/volunteers with the three-too-many people who have shown up to help out that day when I have no jobs left for them to do.

You’d think in a place as big as ours, it wouldn’t be tough to find work for everyone.  You’re right, it shouldn’t be.  I can find lots of boring things to do, but people only want to do those things for just so long then they want something interesting to do.  This difficulty is compounded by the summer students who work with us five days a week.  They become the priority in terms of giving them work to do, which is why the rest are left with the boring tasks.

Another thing that happens on my job is that we can go the entire week without one extra project coming our way.  Then Thursday dawns.  Not only does it dawn, but it winds its way down till about 3:30 when we get the regular weekly phone call from one particular department – ‘Hey, I’ve got an 800 piece mailing here and I need it to go out tomorrow morning!”  Uh, do you know it’s one hour till quitting time?  Do you realize all the volunteers have gone home for the day?  Why do you wait every single week until 3:30 on Thursday to give us a project?

And yet, every Friday, we send the project to the mail room, completed.  Yes, we are miracle workers, thank you very much.

When Friday comes, I’m really ready to not only call it a day but call it a week – sometimes a week and a half.

It’s National Magician’s Day!
July 14, 2009, 3:10 am
Filed under: Humor, Magician, Work

I bet you weren’t aware that today was National Magician’s Day were you?  Or were you?

If you had a day like I did, it may have occurred to you that you were part of some cosmic coincidence totally unrelated to the moon and more likely related to crazy bosses everywhere.bunny

In talking with a friend this evening, she told me a story about how her boss left her some cryptic notes on a project that made no sense.  You see, her boss started somewhere in the middle of the conversation, never quite made it to the beginning and finished significantly short of the end.  One might think that the in between space actually carried the meat of the matter.  It didn’t.  To top it off, her boss thought she should pop open her computer at home after yet another cryptogram and do something else about another problem that, this time, had no guts at all.

I told her that her boss did that because she thought my friend is a magician.  I related my own similar experiences of the day.  I, too, must be a magician!

My morning began with a project that ended up having more labels than postcards, brought to me by an unknown person.  More labels than postcards is usually not a good sign, so I sat down and dropped a note to four women hoping that one of them would recognize the project and tell me what they wanted done about the situation.  I wouldn’t have had this problem if the person had actually completed a project request form and left it with the project.  However, many people seem to believe that not only am I a magician, but a mind-reading magician besides.

After a few flying emails I received a response from the job’s initiator; then I got a visit from a not so happy third party.  She was quite angry.  Her co-worker, the author of this little fiasco, called off this morning leaving her holding a bag full of she knew not what!  Of course, I was no big help, because, as I said, I didn’t have any project form to tell me what the original intent of the project was!  Finally, thanks to some hidden Kreskin-like magical power, I managed to determine that a new set of correct labels could be slapped over the wrong labels.  (Okay, really, I called someone who told me the post office wouldn’t go postal if we did that.)

Having performed my magic on this situation, I worked my way through the day, sprinkling fairy dust everywhere I went (okay, so it was powdered sugar – it still sweetened things up).  I was scheduled to leave the office at precisely 3:37 p.m.  Yes, that is an odd time.  However, it coincides with the time I arrived this morning, 7:07 a.m.  If I clocked out anytime past 3:37 p.m. the time clock system would go crazy and try to give me overtime.  That is a strict no-no.

formsI was totally on target for my departure when I got a call from MY boss.  In encrypted language, she told me ‘they’d’ (meaning she sent one and her co-hort sent the other) sent me two forms and she needed them to be a PAF or part of a PAF or…..

I said, let me open them up, see what you’re talking about  and I’ll call you back with questions.

Dutifully, I opened up both attachments, even though it was now 3:20 p.m., just 17 minutes from my scheduled departure time.  The first form I recognized – it was the PAF.  The second pseudo-form had a lot of words on it and appeared to need formatting help.  I called my boss.  She didn’t answer.  I was frustrated.

So, I did what I always do.  No, I didn’t get up and head for the door so I could make my 3:37 clock out time.  Instead, with my magical sensors beaming, I started to rework the form, just in case that’s what my boss meant through that inside out clockbackward two sentences she thought might be instructions.

Voila!  I finished the form at 3:51, saved it in a place I hoped she could find it, sent her a note saying “if this is what you wanted, this is where to find it”, and blasted out of the office.

When I reached the time clock, I tried the magic words that would turn the clock back.  Unfortunately, I don’t have that much magic dust to pull time out of my hat so I clocked out at 3:53 p.m. – I think.

Today, as a magician, I don’t know if I failed or not.  Maybe if I take a few magic classes then, like Bullwinkle, I’ll be able to say “Hey Rocky!  Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!”  If I’m lucky, I’ll also learn to read minds, too.