1halffull's Blog


Everybody Poops
October 18, 2009, 12:47 am
Filed under: Bragging, Everybody Poops, God, Humor, Life, Love, Parents, Racism, Sadness, Storms, Unions, Work

billnyeThe book, ‘Everybody Poops’, was written by Bill Nye, The Science Guy.  Remember him?  He was a hit with kids back in the late 80’s and early 90’s I think.  The first time we saw the book, we giggled like school kids.  I mean, after all, it mentioned the word poop and that word makes everyone giggle at some point or another.  Well, unless you’re a person whose job is to clean it up.  Then, I suppose, you probably don’t giggle much about it.

Anyway, we were talking today about people who think that for one reason or another, they’re at least a half head better than everyone else.  We all know them.  We work with alot of them.  They make it their business to make sure we know how important they are, even when they aren’t.  We watch alot of them on TV or in movies or on sports fields.  Then we watch them get all haughty because someone wants to take their picture or asks for an autograph and they don’t think they should have to participate.  Hey, bucko, you’re the one who wanted to get all famous, and I helped you get there, so suck it up and sign the autograph.

Which brings me to – Everybody Poops.  I started thinking about how we all want to point out the differences among us and Poopshow some of us even want to get all haughty about these differences.  Whether we should or not is another question.  

Just in case you ever get the idea you’ve got something to get all haughty over, I thought I’d give you a list of some of the things we do pretty much the same.  Here goes….

We all have skin covering our muscles, unless yours has been burned off in a fire.

We all have hair covering our bodies, unless you have alopecia.

We all have eyes to see, unless you’re an alien from another galaxy, then you might not.  Or if your haughtiness has blinded you.

We all have hands and feet and, generally speaking, ten fingers and ten toes, unless you were in a very bad accident or born without them.

We all have navals, I believe, without exception.  There is a difference in navals, as some people have innies and some have outties.  Even so, I see no reason to get haughty over it.

We all have ears, although some of us use them less than others.

We all have mouths, although some of us use them more than others and should think about that.

We all have butts, some flat, some round, some with kind of a table top effect, some sagging.  Maybe you can get all haughty over your booty if you want.  I wouldn’t lord it over others, cause the booty can change at any moment.

We all put our pants on one leg at a time, unless, again, you’ve been in a terrible accident, lost your legs to diabetes, or were born without them.  If you’ve got ’em, be thankful for them and keep on walking.

We all have brains, although with some people, you just can’t tell.

We all breathe the same air, but some of our bodies respond badly to it while others consume it regularly.

heartWe all have hearts that pump the blood that we all have, carrying the oxygen that we just breathed to all of the organs that we all also have.  Here there is a difference:  some hearts beat with love while others beat against love.  Again no reason to get haughty – those beating with love should strive to help those beating against love.

 We all came from the collision of a sperm with an egg and were ‘baked’ in a warm uterus until it was time for us to pop out.

We all have birth mothers; we don’t all have moms.  Those who have moms should share with those who only have birth mothers.

We all have access to God.  We don’t all choose to access Him.

We all have the capacity to love one another.  When we use that capacity wisely, without mixing love with power or control, we just might forget the reason we thought we could get all haughty and enjoy and benefit from the gifts we each can share.

If all else fails just remember:  everybody poops.  Sometimes, that’s a very stinky business, so try not to poop on anyone else.

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Racism or Just Bad Choices?

Ladies and gentlemen.

I have experienced a dearth of ideas, meaning I just haven’t had an idea for days.  Until today when the world has seemingly gone mad all at once (again)!  Now I have about a half dozen ideas.

So, starting at the top – pun intended.

tv_JimmyCarter_1dec06_0The criticism of President Obama and Jimmy Carter’s assessment.

First of all, I don’t believe, as Jimmy Carter is saying, that people are necessarily criticizing President Obama as a person, as a partial African American, nor as a man.  Nope, I’m pretty sure they are not.

Many, if they are criticizing him, are taking cracks at him because of his infinitely unwise decisions.

Remember back in the campaign days when Mr. Obama assured us – as have so many before him – that he would hold down the spending and especially the pork barrel spending?  Yet in the middle of the campaign, both he and John McCain ran back to D.C. to vote for the first $700 billion bailout.  This turned out to be an $850 billion bailout that included numerous pork barrel items and one of the first instances where words didn’t 071028_mccainmatch actions for either Mr. Obama or Mr. McCain.

Our displeasure in these people had nothing to do with either man’s race.  Their actions, however, should have caused a lightning bolt action running through our psyches telling us we shouldn’t vote for either man, black, white or otherwise.

Then there was the auto maker’s bail out.  I was really against this one but Mr. Obama championed the cause and the senators and congressmen yet again, did not heed our tortured, crictical screams.  Next thing you know the American taxpayers became the not-so-proud owners of the Government Motors Company.  Our displeasure had nothing to do with Mr. Obama’s race – only with his stupid response to a ridiculous situation that would have been better off left alone.

Barack_Obama_01_by_StudioFoveaA small aside here:  General Motors handed their bail out money to the Chinese government in order to extend their factories and auto production in China.  I’m not sure why they didn’t ask China for the bailout?  Oh, wait, yes I am.  The Chinese government wouldn’t have given them one red cent.  They’re not that gullible.

So now Mr. Obama is promoting a healthcare plan that will cost the American public $835 billion – so far.  The plan is so unwieldy that I’m pretty sure no one, not even the lady who had to type it all up, knows what it says.  The one thing that has been noted is that families who don’t subscribe to some form of health insurance will be fined $3,800.  Maybe that’s how Congress plans to raise the $835 billion?

Stick with me here while I do the math on all this.  $850 billion + $35 billion + $835 Billion = 1.720 TRILLION dollars of non existent taxpayer dollars earmarked for spending in less than a year by our first, partially African American president.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not on this rant because Mr. Obama is partially African American.  I’m on this rant because I do have a brain and I am living and breathing in America.  I’m ranting because I do resent someone who would give my hard earned money to crooks and thieves who have either stolen from the accounts of or raped the American people by stealing their jobs and giving them to the Mexicans and Chinese in order to make greater profits.

I am ranting because it is unbelievable to me that anyone would look at what has taken place in the last year and still have the gall to say people are picking on Mr. Obama because he’s our first partial African American president!

Have you lost your minds?  Do you seriously think the caucasians would be sitting around saying ‘gee, we’re so glad the white guy in office dumped us into the cesspool of a 1.720 trillion dollar debt’ if John McCain had gotten into office and committed these financial atrocities?   If you do, then it’s time for more than a change in American government; it’s time for a change in its people.                                    

9/16/09 – 11:25 p.m.