1halffull's Blog

Add this to the list of ‘best’ days…
May 17, 2011, 12:50 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Yesterday, Sunday, May 15th, was one of those unforgettable days, one that you add to your list of ‘best’ days.

We started our morning at 4:30 a.m. – no we’re not the birds trying to catch the first worm – we’re parents who were going to ‘fan’ for our son, Mike, who was running his first (and only, most likely) Cleveland Marathon.  We were also hoping to see our daughter-in-law, her brother and a friend of ours as they ran through the half-marathon. 

We caught up with Mike just past the four mile marker and many other markers along the way.  He was able to keep his pace and finished at four hours and 44 minutes!  Dan and I both agreed we’d have been finished pretty much after the third mile.  Period!  The half-marathoners also did very well and everyone was happy with the results.  

The Marathon was the last qualification that Mike had to achieve before graduating summa cum laude from Marshall Law College at Cleveland State University.  (Just kidding)

Once he crossed the finish line, it was home for a fast shower and redress then on to the graduation ceremony!  He’s worked so incredibly hard over these last three years – studying, participating in Moot Court, working on the Law Review, being a teaching assistant, working at the Public Defender’s office and a number of other activities that gave him a rich, law school experience.  The honors he received were well deserved. 

We were bursting with love, pride and happiness as we watched him receive his Juris Doctorate!  His accomplishment is awesome! 

Congratulations, Mike! We wish you the best life has to offer. 

It’s good to know we’ve got someone to bail us out now! Let the mayhem begin!  LOL


A Cautionary Tale….
May 1, 2011, 12:09 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Pretty much, we’ve all heard that statement, yet we refuse to believe it.  It occurs to me to wonder why?  My answer is because we have no idea that we, too, are in danger of our own houses turning to glass.

We have the potentially false idea that the house we’re in, that we think is fully made of stainless steel, lined with lead, impervious to all attacks, will always be so.  Because of this, we may gain a false sense of pride and a certain belief in the indestructability of this house, a protection that is foolish to claim.

This false sense of security can make us do and say things to others that we may one day be faced with ourselves. 

For example, I knew a preacher who stood in front of his congregation and berated the parents of children he knew were having difficulties – mix ups with the law, drugs, and more.  He told them that it was their own (the parents) fault for not raising the kids the right way.  In a breath, he took a lot of hurting people and crushed them even further into the dirt.  They were already saddened and riddled with guilt, they didn’t need his further indictment.  He clearly felt safe in his stainless steel, lead lined house from where he cast boulders upon ‘his’ people.

About a month later, that same minister stood in his own pulpit, crying, confessing that one of his own children had, indeed, become a statistic.  In a breath, he had been brought as low as those he’d previously indicted for their lack of good parenting.  In a breath, his comfortable perch within the stainless steel, lead clad home became as fragile as glass.  Kindly, no one threw stones. 

There are many other similar stories.  You probably know some or even are some yourselves.

Those who think that the defiant, rule breaking acts of children, or adults who were once children, are simple reflections on the parenting skills of their parents need to have another look.

If that is true, then please explain the children who have lived in abusive (of any kind) delinquent families yet grow up to be loving, caring, giving citizens.  If the hypothesis is that good parents = good children/adults, then shouldn’t it stand to reason that bad parents can only = bad children/adults?

Nurture is not always to ‘blame’.  Nature often plays at least an equal part.

For those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, every person ever born has been born with their very own personality, character, and even a particular leaning and ability to adapt or not.  Some are born more easily influenced; others can’t be influenced if dragged over hot coals to get there.  Some will readily color within the lines; others couldn’t color within the lines if their lives depended on it. 

Every person is individually born exactly as he or she Is. 

Can you blame a parent for that?  I guess you can blame them if you believe they controlled the choice of which little sperm managed to beat all the rest to fertilize the waiting egg.  Even in invitro fertilization, there is not that fine tune control!

I won’t debate that the optimum in child-rearing is that parents will love their children enough to try to raise them to become reasonably sound citizens without causing too much harm to their over all well-being and creativity.  Even with that, life happens:  jobs are lost, considered choices are made that go awry; parents die; life gets hard and sometimes every family member suffers.  Those who are born to adapt, do; those who aren’t may fumble, but hopefully will ultimately land on their feet.

But I also can’t debate that there are some of us whose drummers beat more loudly and off the traditional beat, preventing us from taking the simpler, parent-directed path to becoming reasonable adults.  Some children can only get there the hard way, whatever that is for them.  I’m one of those.

So, next time you want to jump in and judge some parent for what their kid is doing, just STOP!  Both the parent and the child need your kindness, not your judgement. 

AND REMEMBER THIS:  You haven’t lived your whole life yet.  You have no idea when you just might find your perfect, stainless steel, lead lined house turning to glass.