1halffull's Blog


It’s National Magician’s Day!
July 14, 2009, 3:10 am
Filed under: Humor, Magician, Work

I bet you weren’t aware that today was National Magician’s Day were you?  Or were you?

If you had a day like I did, it may have occurred to you that you were part of some cosmic coincidence totally unrelated to the moon and more likely related to crazy bosses everywhere.bunny

In talking with a friend this evening, she told me a story about how her boss left her some cryptic notes on a project that made no sense.  You see, her boss started somewhere in the middle of the conversation, never quite made it to the beginning and finished significantly short of the end.  One might think that the in between space actually carried the meat of the matter.  It didn’t.  To top it off, her boss thought she should pop open her computer at home after yet another cryptogram and do something else about another problem that, this time, had no guts at all.

I told her that her boss did that because she thought my friend is a magician.  I related my own similar experiences of the day.  I, too, must be a magician!

My morning began with a project that ended up having more labels than postcards, brought to me by an unknown person.  More labels than postcards is usually not a good sign, so I sat down and dropped a note to four women hoping that one of them would recognize the project and tell me what they wanted done about the situation.  I wouldn’t have had this problem if the person had actually completed a project request form and left it with the project.  However, many people seem to believe that not only am I a magician, but a mind-reading magician besides.

After a few flying emails I received a response from the job’s initiator; then I got a visit from a not so happy third party.  She was quite angry.  Her co-worker, the author of this little fiasco, called off this morning leaving her holding a bag full of she knew not what!  Of course, I was no big help, because, as I said, I didn’t have any project form to tell me what the original intent of the project was!  Finally, thanks to some hidden Kreskin-like magical power, I managed to determine that a new set of correct labels could be slapped over the wrong labels.  (Okay, really, I called someone who told me the post office wouldn’t go postal if we did that.)

Having performed my magic on this situation, I worked my way through the day, sprinkling fairy dust everywhere I went (okay, so it was powdered sugar – it still sweetened things up).  I was scheduled to leave the office at precisely 3:37 p.m.  Yes, that is an odd time.  However, it coincides with the time I arrived this morning, 7:07 a.m.  If I clocked out anytime past 3:37 p.m. the time clock system would go crazy and try to give me overtime.  That is a strict no-no.

formsI was totally on target for my departure when I got a call from MY boss.  In encrypted language, she told me ‘they’d’ (meaning she sent one and her co-hort sent the other) sent me two forms and she needed them to be a PAF or part of a PAF or…..

I said, let me open them up, see what you’re talking about  and I’ll call you back with questions.

Dutifully, I opened up both attachments, even though it was now 3:20 p.m., just 17 minutes from my scheduled departure time.  The first form I recognized – it was the PAF.  The second pseudo-form had a lot of words on it and appeared to need formatting help.  I called my boss.  She didn’t answer.  I was frustrated.

So, I did what I always do.  No, I didn’t get up and head for the door so I could make my 3:37 clock out time.  Instead, with my magical sensors beaming, I started to rework the form, just in case that’s what my boss meant through that inside out clockbackward two sentences she thought might be instructions.

Voila!  I finished the form at 3:51, saved it in a place I hoped she could find it, sent her a note saying “if this is what you wanted, this is where to find it”, and blasted out of the office.

When I reached the time clock, I tried the magic words that would turn the clock back.  Unfortunately, I don’t have that much magic dust to pull time out of my hat so I clocked out at 3:53 p.m. – I think.

Today, as a magician, I don’t know if I failed or not.  Maybe if I take a few magic classes then, like Bullwinkle, I’ll be able to say “Hey Rocky!  Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!”  If I’m lucky, I’ll also learn to read minds, too.

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