1halffull's Blog


The Kiss that Missed….

January 11, 1969. A day that will live in….what? My mind? My heart? The front porch?

It lives on in all three as the day Dan thrust his class ring into my hand, slid a kiss down my cheek and fled.

Let me start at the beginning….

It was the summer of 1966. I was enjoying summer with my cousin and friends.

At the time, I had a faithless boyfriend that I would soon be rid of. What a jerk. At the same time, my cousin was seeing a boy named Tim. Tim’s side kick happened to be Dan. If we lived closer, he’d still be Tim’s sidekick – one of those enduring relationships.

Dan first saw me swimming in the park pool. To his credit, he didn’t run away screaming. Instead, he asked my cousin ‘Hey, is Page (my last name) going with anyone?’ How’d he even know my last name? I had no idea. Tracy told him the bad news that I was seeing someone else. All very high stakes for an eighth grader, don’t you think?

Life moved on and I didn’t see Dan again until we both ended up on the school newspaper.  Dan’s brother Rich was also there.  Even though Dan and I are the same age, he was in 10th grade.  Apparently he was some big smarty pants, or else his birthday just happened to land him a year ahead of us. :0)

Rich and I became pretty good friends while Dan behaved like the typical, shy 10th grade boy. He’d do what I like to call ‘the rooster dance’. The rooster dance worked like this: He’d talk to me for a week or so, then he’d retreat and act like I had the plague. Then he’d talk to me again, etc. Very annoying and not an encouragement to hang around much.

Rooster Dance nothwithstanding, I decided to invite him to the upcoming Sweater Hop (it was girl’s choice).

I called his house and Rich answered. He had some idea that I was calling to ask him to the big dance and was very surprised when I asked to speak to Dan. Unbelievably, Dan said yes and we went shopping for our matching sweaters. After the dance Dan resumed his position as rooster and didn’t ask me out again.

So I got another boyfriend, Chuck.

While I dated Chuck, it was not uncommon for Dan to make drive bys of my house with Tim. Later he would say that was because they were on the way to Tim’s house. If that was true, they were taking a completely round about way to get there. The truth was that he was spying on me and would usually see Chuck and me on my front porch. Served him right.

Freshman year ended and sophomore year found me in chemistry class with guess who? Dan and Rich. I was really uncomfortable with this state of affairs.  Since I was still dating Chuck, I contemplated changing to another class.  That never happened and I later learned that Dan also contemplated the same action. Had we both changed to the other chem class, we’d still have been together, just without Rich!  Weird, huh?

Class was uncomfortable, but I tried to ignore who was there. Chem class was so hard for me that I didn’t dare do otherwise.

In early December, Chuck and I broke it off. When he learned what happened, guess who swooped in with an invitation to midnight mass on Christmas Eve?  A more beautiful night I don’t think I’ve ever seen.  It was very picturesque with lightly falling snow, candles lit in the church and the music of the Christmas choir all around.

The next day Dan went with his family to Lorain to visit grandmas, aunts, uncles and cousins. While there, he used his tape recorder to make me a wonderful audio tape of their activities, including interviews with family members and my favorite piece of all, his Uncle Nemo singing ‘Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime.” It was the sweetest and funniest gift I’d ever gotten.

Although I don’t remember the specifics, I’m sure we went out a couple times during Christmas vacation and met at the Youth Center after a couple basketball games. I know we talked on the phone because my folks limited my talk time to something ridiculous like 10 minutes. Did that mean 10 minutes on with two minutes off? LOL

On the evening of January 11th, Dan called about 9:30 to ask if I could take a ride with him in the car. Hey, why not? What else was I going to do, watch paint dry?

When he arrived, he came bravely up to the door to get me. We went out and drove around town, just talking about life and beliefs; I don’t remember, but I’m sure there must have been some sports talk in there somewhere.

After driving around for an hour, he brought me home. It was 10:30; I remember looking at the clock. He opened the car door for me and walked me onto the porch to my door. As I opened the door, he thrust his class ring into my hand as he said, “Will you go steady with me?” and bent down to seal the deal with a kiss. Just as he did that, I turned my head and the kiss went sliding down my cheek. I think I giggled and he dashed off the porch, leaving me to wonder what had just happened??

In that moment, Dan went from doing the rooster dance at me to doing what has become a lifelong run of many forms of dance with me. In our lives, that is a moment that lives in infamy and is celebrated every year with at least a ‘Happy (year) Anniversary” and a kiss that doesn’t miss!



A kid at my age…

It’s 2012. Two days in and I’m thinking about what someone said to me in 2011: “You’re such a kid at heart’; I can see you enjoying that.”

I don’t remember what she was referring to – I guess that’s part of being my age. I do remember her saying it and at first, not being sure how to take it. So I’ve been thinking about it on and off and here’s how I’ve decided to ‘take’ it.

Growing up, there wasn’t alot of room for being a kid. I was, by age, a child in a house full of adults. I was expected to act like an adult. Hence, when I asked for a Mickey Mouse watch, I got two watches: a gold one for Sunday and dress up events and a silver one that I might wear everyday. Neither was a Mickey Mouse watch which is what I asked for.

When it was time to learn how to play the piano and participate in a recital, I didn’t play the Indian Wigwam song that was at my level of play; no, it was expected that I would play The Hungarian Rhapsody – perfectly! I was so intimidated that I just knew I would make mistakes, disappointing my mother and grandmother. Of course, that’s exactly what happened because there was no room allowed for a kid to make mistakes, only the supposed perfection of an adult.

I was also not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough. I was always such a disappointment and I think that was because I could never be adult enough at age eight, 10 or 12 to be anything else.

The funny thing was that I didn’t want to have to be an adult. I wanted to be like all the other kids and be a kid.

I think for my mother and grandmother, allowing me to be a kid must have been a very scary place for them. I think they saw it, especially my mom, as a place where I might get hurt by something or someone. They just couldn’t allow either of those things to happen to me. I kind of understood that part when I had kids of my own….but I forced myself to let them – after I’d said ‘but be careful’ before they walked out the door.

My mother died when I was 16. When that happened, I made myself act like an adult and assumed the care of the house, making meals, doing laundry, taking care of my brother and handling things for my dad. I was so sad for him I didn’t want him to have any other burdens. Grandma was there, too, and she’d give direction to my assumed adult activities along with a load of disappointment and more for me to bear. I could never do much that was right in her eyes either.

Along the way, there were a few oases of respite where I could try to be a kid: my Aunts Judy and Betty; dear ‘Mama Jane’ whose backyard connected to ours and whose daughter and I managed to find ways to get into some good troubles together – we were often ‘grounded’ from playing with one another. There was Ellen and Linda and Girl Scouts. Finally there was graduation, college and marriage – all places I kept trying to find relief for my childhood desires by bringing along with me the things that were left undone and finding a way to do them as an adult.

That Mickey Mouse watch? I received it from my mother-in-law one early-married year for Christmas! I was thrilled.

Vacations? I’ve had some really good ones with my husband and my children to places kids (or at least this ‘kid’) like to go – Disney World, Daytona Beach, Cedar Point, Universal Studios, water parks and more.

I can be very serious, but I love to be silly, play jokes on people, wear St. Patty’s Day gear to a six a.m. party, Halloween costumes to work and laugh like a loon! I find happiness and even joy in a sunny, blue sky day, especially if I’m around a lake or the ocean – and I don’t care what the temperature is!

And if that looks like I’m acting like a kid, then so be it! Everyone deserves a childhood and this is still part of mine.



What does it take?
December 6, 2011, 2:23 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

What does it take to make a big change?

You must start with one small step away from what you want to change toward what you want to accomplish through the change.



Familial Reconnection: Yes it is possible
November 30, 2011, 2:32 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

When I was in college – all three times – I studied both psychology and sociology/social work.  In case you don’t know what those are – both study people.  Psychology is more about mental states and emotions.  Sociology/social work is more about people and their culture and how they function in various situations.  Both studies are very much intertwined because people don’t function just as a thought or emotion, but in relation to their culture, nature and nurture.

Which brings us to families and how we relate.

I learned a long time ago that it is not uncommon for adults, when they get back together within their traditional family of origin, to revert back to the position they held in that family while growing up.  If you were the agitator between the ages of birth and 18, you will most likely still be one now at the family gatherings.  If you were the bully, you may try to reenact that behavior as well.  If you were the whiner, the crier, the helper – whatever role you assumed as a kid, it shouldn’t surprise you to look in the mirror the second day of Christmas vacation with your siblings and see that same person staring back at you.  SURPRISE!

For a really long time, I thought that theory made sense, even if it did seem a bit immature.  But recently I’ve gotten a bit of a different view of the subject.

While there are many families whose siblings seem to stay relatively close, making the return to roles obviously about resuming the family of origin’s initial traits, there are also the families where the members grow apart – sometimes far apart – for any number of reasons.  For some, obstacles of personality, jealousy, addictions or disinterest got in the way of the relationship.  For others, they built invisible walls as a means of emotional protection.

The question is:  how do two (or more) such people reconnect?

With no current affiliation or context by which to relate, sibs may be left with only one thing to draw on – the past.  This can be a good place to start, but only if you’re reaching into the hat that held all of the ‘good’ stuff.  You’re not going to encourage a relationship by bringing up the embarrassing things that were done in the foolishness of youth!  Most of us want that stuff to be left where it belongs – in the past, under a rock, at the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean.

Reaching, rather, for the recollection of the happy times that you shared with your sibling could be a better way to start.  Vacations, playing in the neighborhood with friends, watching that really scary movie – 100 times.  Remember the supportive moments between you when one or the other got punished for something.  Pull out the things that used to make you both laugh, especially antics that bound you together against the common enemy:  the parents!

If some interest is shown in these shared good memories, you might then venture on to clearing away the cobwebs by carefully exploring what caused the separation.  Speak kindly; really hear the other person’s point of view and ask them to hear yours.  Find a common ground.

If damage has been done, forgiveness needs to step up to the plate and be given and received.  Grudges have no place in a healing relationship nor do feelings of superiority.  We’re all fallible; we all fall down.  It’s in the getting back up again that we find our courage to plunge forward.

No, I’m not Pollyanna – although that is one of my favorite movies.  I do realize that sometimes the most we can hope for is just to make the best of being in the same room with the other person.  In real life, we don’t necessarily like everyone we meet, including family members.  In spite of that, hopefully, we can find a way to love them enough to treat them with care.

I hope in this season that throws family members together, you’ll take time to reach into your memory hat for the spark that just might rekindle a relationship that was once important to you.  Someday, it may be all you have left.



Losing Perspective
August 8, 2011, 3:17 am
Filed under: Sadness | Tags: ,

It’s amazing how fast things can change.

 One day, you’re on the beam, walking it perfectly and the next, you’ve fallen off and you definitely can’t get back up.

 That’s what has happened to me this year.  One thing on top of the next.  Mind whirling dervishly.  Suddenly in the middle of the biggest anxiety attack I’ve ever seen because the steaks I cooked weren’t as tender as I wanted them to be!!!

HOLY COW!

The next morning, after figuring out that I hadn’t had a heart attack, I took stock, lock and barrel of myself and my surroundings and realized how many disappointments I’d endured since February.  None of them are end of the world, earth shattering tragedies.  Still, there are about a half dozen or so events that needed to be worked through and weren’t.

I realized that in my attempt to pretend that all was still right with the world, I hadn’t acknowledged that instead, it was all completely contretemps to my usual life.  What I saw was that I’d been hiding out, pretending that in the midst of all the loss, everything was still normal.  I’m not surprised at that.  It’s a survival mode that I’ve used all my life.

In the midst of trial, even though I’ve learned that my help has most often come from the Lord, this time, I was ignoring Him.  I might have even been misdirecting a bit of ire toward Him by turning my back – not completely – but shrugging off any attempts He might be making toward me to ease my pain.  My plan was to live in Egypt, by de-Nile.  That allowed me to ignore my own need for help.  I’d show anyone who might be looking.

But the anxiety attack brought me up short, staring into the mirror, seeing my current life flash before my eyes in all its sadness and grief.  I recognized right then that I needed to clean up this act, take it off the road, and take it directly to Him for a good going over. 

What’s really interesting about God is that He’s always ready to take you in, provide you with help and with healing.  He’s also usually going to teach you something profound in the process.  He uses your own mess to show you His love, pour out His grace and mercy and forgive you for your own bad behavior.

He’s also often very blunt.  His notes for me came in the form of this morning’s message at church.  It was a marvel as it seemed spelled out just for me.  He not only lifted my spirit, but also showed me the first steps to getting through all this.  I felt real joy in realizing just how much He cares for me.  Even when I ignore Him, He’s not ignoring me; He’s planning my way out of my mess.  Another reason why I love Him – He never gives up on me – even when I give up on myself.

I can honestly say that I’m not out of the woods yet.  But at least, following in the footsteps of the Lord, I’ve begun to find my way out.  I give Him thanks for that.



Will you wear BLUE on Fridays?

I received this as an email from a friend.  I wanted to do something besides just forward the email; it’s more important than that.  So, I’ve posted it here, where it can be seen anytime, any day.  Please copy and paste the link and use it on your Facebook page, your Twitter account, your emails….wherever it can go to get some recognition, where people will take up the call to wear BLUE on Friday, every Friday till every service person has come home. 

http://1halffull.wordpress.com/2011/07/30/will-you-wear-blue-on-fridays/

From the page of the International Picture of the Year Show:
Here are two very touching photos honored this year. 

First Place Photo
Todd Heisler, The Rocky Mountain News 

When 2nd Lt. James Cathey’s body arrived at the Reno Airport, Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac. 

During the arrival of another Marine’s casket last year at Denver  International Airport, Major Steve Beck described the scene as so powerful:

    ‘See the people in the windows? They sat right there in the plane, watching those   

    Marines. You gotta’ wonder what’s going through their minds, knowing that they’re on the plane that brought him home,’ he said.  ’They will remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. They’re going to remember bringing that Marine home. And they should.’ 

Second Place Photo
Todd Heisler,  The Rocky Mountain News 

The night before the burial of her husband’s body, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag.  Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of ‘Cat,’ and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept.

     ‘I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it,’ she said. ‘I think that’s   what he would have wanted’.

 And the one that really tightens MY throat:

Which leads us to this idea: 
WILL YOU WEAR BLUE???

 Blue Fridays

Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing blue every Friday.

The reason?

Americans who support our troops used to be called the ‘silent majority’.  We are no longer silent and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers.   We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing.

Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of American citizens support our troops.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday — and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home. 

We want this to send a deafening message!  We want every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar to wear something BLUE, every Friday until every service person is back on American soil!

By word of mouth, press, TV – every Friday, let’s turn the United States into a sea of BLUE much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in BLUE and it will let our troops know the once ‘silent’ majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked ‘What can we do to make things better for you?’ is:

‘We need your support and your prayers.’

Let’s get the word out and lead by example, with class and dignity. 

Wear something blue every Friday.

IF YOU AGREE – you can cut and paste the following into your emails, onto your Facebook pages, Twitter account, but do something to get the word out there! 

http://1halffull.wordpress.com/2011/07/30/will-you-wear-blue-on-fridays/

Let’s make every Friday a BLUE Friday in support of our troops and our Country!

And remember this:

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1.  Jesus Christ

2.  The American G. I.

 One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.



Bridges or Fences?
July 19, 2011, 8:19 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.   ~ 2 Corinthians 3:17

Fences.

Not long after we first moved to this house, we got new neighbors at our backs.  One of the first things they did once the snow melted, was build a fence around their back yard.  Not the three foot kind that invites over-the-fence conversation, but the six foot kind of fence that screams ‘stay out’ on one side and ‘stay in’ on the other.

Their reason for building it was to provide a safe place for their kids and the dog to play.  That fence did a great job; the children and dog were safe the entire time they lived there except when the boy fell from the swingset and broke an arm.  I guess fences can’t protect us from everything, can they?

The fence also did something else:  it put up a wall against potential relationships between these people and their neighbors.  Personally, I don’t see that as a plus.

The next people who owned the house took the fence down immediately.  It’s been easy to get to know them.  There are no barriers.

There have been a lot of fences/walls put up through history.  One of the most famous is  The Berlin Wall. 

~ photo borrowed from Flikr

The Berlin Wall solidified the division between East and West Berlin, as the ruling communist government sought to protect East Berlin from the ‘capitalist dogs’.  Construction of the actual wall started under darkness, while Berliners slept during the night of August 16, 1961.  Imagine the shock of the citizens the next morning as they saw the beginnings of this ugly reminder of unwanted bondage!

Suddenly families, friends and neighbors found themselves utterly separated. One half lived in freedom, the other lived in total bondage – separated by only about a six inch band of 11’6″ high fence that snaked through the cities out into the countryside. 

Even though they were ‘free’, the West Berliners could not cross into East Berlin.  There were 302 watch towers along the 96 miles of the Berlin Wall.  Twenty-three miles of it went through residential areas.    For all kinds of reasons, five thousand people made it safely to freedom over the wall; 192 people were killed trying to cross over it between its inception in 1961 and its demise in 1989.  Another 200 were injured by shooting while trying to breach the wall to get to the freedom on the other side.

On the whole, no real good seems to have come to the builders of this fence/wall.  Ultimately, Communism and the Cold War ended.  The border was reopened on November 9, 1989 and the wall/fence fully destructed by the end of 1990. 

So much for fences.

Bridges.

A bridge, by definition, is a link or connection between two permanent structures.

There are many types of physical bridges.  There are intricate and simple truss bridges; abuttment bridges; draw bridges; rigid frame, fixed arch and cantilever bridges to name a few.   Probaby everyone of us crosses a bridge of some sort every single day by driving over a river, a freeway, a street, a deep gully.  Sometimes, we even cross one as we enter the threshold of a new home, a new family, a new church.

Bridges are open pathways between two points.  They encourage connection.  Sometimes they lift their ‘arms’ to let something larger go through.  They protect the regular traffic from getting hurt by doing so. 

photo borrowed from 'Something Wicked This Way Blogs'

Bridges are often beautiful in their construction and we know them by name:  The Golden Gate Bridge (San Francisco, CA); The George Washington Bridge (NY,NY); The Chesapeake Bay Bridge  in Maryland; The Zakim Bridge in Boston.  Unless you’re hauling something illegal, or the bridge is under construction, you will always find an open way to get from one side to the other.  

Sometimes, however, there is a cost involved as there is for each one of these bridges.  It’s up to you to decide in advance whether you are willing to bear the cost.  

Along with physical bridges, there are also relational bridges.  These are the pathways that we use to form relationships with one another. 

Relationships are formed through meetings of minds and hearts.   Sometimes they are initiated through birth rights; others are begun in a coffee shop, in the workplace, on the street, at a place of worship.  When people diligently work on these relationships they often blossom and grow. 

Sometimes, however, someone takes advantage of their relationship with others and uses it to try to remove their freedom of  choice.  Often, it’s initiated quietly, stealthily, behind the scenes.  No one even recognizes it’s happening.  Suddenly all the decisions are being made by one person.  No one is paying any attention, and they just go along.  They have no idea who they’re following nor where that person is leading them.    

There are those who even purpose to build fences that are invisible to all but themselves.  They say they’re doing it to protect the group or other persons; more often than not, they’re trying to build a fence so that they can control those within its boundaries.  This can lead to a terrible end.

Jim Jones was one of these controllers who put up a very large fence.  Those who innocently followed him into the middle of it, drank Kool Aid that led to their death.  Following the wrong people can cost you more than you were ever willing to spend.

The best bridge I ever saw looks like this:

I really love it.  It’s shaped like no other and it leads us from a life that points only to the abyss of the grave to a life of eternity with God. 

Initially, we are all together on the same side of the chasm that this bridge crosses – lost in our own devices. 

The great thing about this bridge is that we are free to cross to the other side at any time.  The person who built the bridge, Jesus, is waiting there to take you across.  You only need to accept Him as your Savior and commit your life to Him.  Once you cross this bridge, with Jesus in your heart, you leave your old life behind for a new life where Christ walks with you through every circumstance.  No more guilt, no more shame, just freedom to become all that God always intended for you to become.

Jesus built this bridge with the sacrifice of His own life, freely given, so that you might freely receive.  Every person can cross when you choose to believe in Him and the work that was done for you on that Cross 2,000 years ago.   There’s no fence keeping you out….just the Cross of Christ inviting you in.

I’m so thankful that Jesus was about building bridges and not fences.  If you’re in a place that’s all fenced in, seek Jesus.  He will lead you out, across the bridge, to new life in Him.



30 Years….
July 1, 2011, 3:44 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

In this world, loss is never ending

There is so much that should have been.

The only hope we have

Is that we’ll see you yet again

When Jordan’s shores we cross

To the reunion that never ends.

Still missing you, Dad, even after 30 years.

            In loving memory

            Robert ‘Red’ Page

        8/11/1920 ~ 7/1/1981



Epiphany and Other Silliness
June 21, 2011, 2:58 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

When you read this, you may wonder:  Is this what her previous emancipation proclamation was all about?  The answer is yes and no.

For me, humor is always appropriate, so yes.  Did I need to emancipate myself for this?  No.

I received the following from a friend.  I loved it so much I wanted to reprint it – thanks to whoever originated it.  I’m betting they look something like me physically.  Bless them.

Epiphany!
Epiphany – here the meaning is “an illuminating discovery”
I finally figured out my problem.

The shampoo I use in the shower runs down my body;
their label says
“For extra volume and body”.

I’m going to start using Dawn dish washing soap.

It says, “Dissolves fat that is otherwise
difficult to remove!”

I loved this and wanted to add some thoughts of my own:

1.  Would it be faster to order a tanker truck of Dawn and just jump in?

2.  If I use starch on my face, would that eradicate the wrinkles?  (for those of you who have no idea what ‘starch’ is or what it was used for, look it up!)

3.  Could I use suspenders to hold up my sagging belly or any other parts south of my neck?

4.  If Oxi-Clean removes the worst stains, could it remove the liver spots that keep appearing on my arms?

5.  What about bleach?  It can remove color from my hair, so can it remove the dark circles under my eyes?  (DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!)

6.  Or should one think of pouring peroxide on the dark spots then go stand in the sun to see if they’ll lighten up?

7.  I’ve read that tomatoes are a good food to eat to help prevent cancer.  If I rub tomatoes on my skin, will they prevent skin cancer?

8.  Do you get milky white skin by sitting in a tub of whole milk?

9.  You use warm wax or sticky, warm honey to tear hair out of your legs.  Can you use the same stuff to exfoliate your face?  OUCH!

10.  Can you use self-tanning products to create temporary tattoos?  (Go ahead and try this at home.  Send me photos of your results.)

Well, it’s a lean day, mentally.  So I’ll stop now.  Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section!  I’ll be watching.

 



The Power of Glinda the Good Witch of the North…
June 16, 2011, 6:25 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Isn’t writing supposed to be freeing?  You’re supposed to get to express yourself – openly, honestly – write what’s on your mind.

So why do I not find it so?  I have a few items I’d like to be writing about but have to think about those who will read it, how they will feel, what they will think.  Surely some subjects will be followed directly by requests that I remove the piece so as not ‘to hurt’ someone or other.

But what if they need to be hurt?  What if what I’m going to say is the truth in plain sight and it is actually more detrimental for them NOT to read it?  What if not saying it ends life as they know it?  Or could have effected a change in someone that would affect the rest of their lives?  Should I have kept silent then?

I’m sick and tired of being expected to keep quiet because of some hidden agenda of another person!  Especially when that person only wants to control a situation to keep others in the dark about what’s really going on.

Glinda the Good Witch of the North ~ credit Techland

I’m tired of behaving more like a child who is afraid of being sent to her room or reprimanded by some other adult.  The reality is what Glinda the Good Witch said when faced with someone who wanted to intimidate:  “Be gone!  You have no power here!”

You’ve really gotta love Glinda.

People only have as much power over you as you give them.  For many of us, how we feel about that goes back to how we were raised.  If in an atmosphere of ‘just wait till your father gets home’, probably we’ll carry on thinking people, especially men, have a right to ‘punish’ us….at least verbally.

If we’ve been created in the image of guilt, then we most often will become people pleasers who don’t want to rock the boat.  Failure to do what we think is ‘expected’ finds us internally reckoning that we will be banished.

We’ve learned that doing what’s expected is just easier than challenging authority. It’s hard to change these attitudes, to adjust the record playing in my head.

The only answer is to embrace our own adult ‘power’.  We can’t allow others to intimidate us into doing the ‘expected’, especially when to do so goes against our own beliefs and values.  As adults, we must learn how to dare to challenge the ‘what’s expected’ without being intimidated.

I find the fear of intimidation to be very  limiting…and often, very frustrating.

So, this is your fair warning:

This space is mine, to write anything that I wish to write, to be read by anyone who dares to open up this blog and read it.  I accord you the ability to comment as you wish – even disagree with what I have to say - and ultimately, to not ever come back to read another word.  Those are your choices.

But understand this:  From this point forward, I will not be intimidated to remove or not write what’s on my mind by anyone.  And if you think I should, just remember this:  You have no power here!




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